As a therapist, I have often worked with individuals who initially believe that “sex” will cure their porn addiction. Perhaps you or someone you care about has said one or more of the following:

“Once I get married I won’t have a porn problem anymore!”

“Now that I am having sex with one I love I won’t have a pornography problem anymore!”

“Why do I still look at pornography? I’m getting all the sex I need.”

The sex in my relationship isn’t enough, nor what I thought it would be. I still have to look at pornography to have my needs met. I thought this would stop.”

“I’m not good enough, is that it? Why does he have to look at pornography anyway? Why?”

“Sex is never good enough for him. He always wants more or something different—what more can I do?”

“When we make love is he thinking about them or me? Who is he having sex with anyway?”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this technology-driven, life-at-the-speed-of-light, instant gratification world we live in. There are many wonderful advantages and enjoyments that technology has given us. But, in some ways, it has robbed us of a “child-like” wonder we once possessed. And of course, the struggles of addiction tend to cloud our minds and block out most of our creativity and joy. Over time the brilliant kaleidoscope colors of our child-like curiosity, questioning and wonder can fade to gray. Research shows that as our inquisitive nature wanes, the aging process accelerates and our mental health suffers. Part of having a healthy mind and body is continuing to ask the wondrous child’s question “Why?” and then passionately seeking answers. This “return to wonder” can be a great help in the process of addiction recovery.

This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction.
Episode 30. January 15, 2010. With Mark Kastleman.
This weeks episode is titled, “Perfection and Porn”

Within Candeo’s online recovery training program, there is a special forum where our recovery Students across the world have an opportunity to communicate, share ideas, support and encourage one another, etc. Here is a recent entry on the forum that expresses a process which many who struggle with addiction go through during the holidays. The encouraging thing about this recovery Student’s post, is that this holiday season, things appear to be turning out different.